The Power of Attraction!
For
over twenty years I’ve been working with clients. And one thing is for
sure; if you want to get on the right side of someone, learn to speak
his or her "language". This fact applies to sales, customer care and
personal relationships. Now at the same time as I was starting my first
business back in 1992, Dr Gary Chapman was publishing similar observations and findings in his book, The Five Love Languages. Since then, the book has sold over five million copies and is regularly on the New York Times bestseller list. It's been translated into more than forty languages.
Communicating that you care
After many years of partner counselling, therapist Dr. Chapman observed how, without even realising it themselves, his patients used a specific "love language" to express their love. Five key categories proved to be universal and comprehensive. I studied his methods and results. It intrigued me that my family all had different preferences and not surprisingly when I started to communicate with them in their preferred way, relationships improved and deepened.
Receiving gifts
Some people only feel loved when they receive a gift. But it’s not about the gift itself. It’s the thought and effort behind it that makes them flourish. In this love language, a missed birthday or anniversary is disastrous. Of course we probably like many of these "languages". The magic is in spotting your predominant one.Words of affirmation
If this is your key love language words speak louder than actions. Your spirit soars when you hear unsolicited compliments or those three magic words “I love you.” Without them, you may feel taken for granted or – even worse – neglected or ignored.
Quality time
Giving someone your full and undivided attention may be the way to this person’s heart. Turn off the TV, put down your knife and fork. Look into your partner’s eyes, really listen and forget about all the many items on your to-do list. In the vocabulary of this language, distraction, postponements or not listening can be particularly hurtful.
Acts of service
Want to win your way into this woman’s heart? Anything you do to lighten her burden of responsibilities translates into “I love you,” whether that’s picking up the kids from school or cooking dinner or washing the windows. Laziness, broken commitments and creating additional work translate into, “Your feelings don’t matter to me.”
Physical touch
Not
surprisingly, a person whose primary language is physical touch is
likely to be very touchy themselves. A spontaneous hug or thoughtful pat
speaks excitement, concern, care ... and love. It took me aback to
realise my 6'2" muscular, rugger playing son was off the chart on
physical touch. He loves nothing better than a family group hug.
Read more here
and pick up the link to the book. I wonder what love languages your
close family and friends prefer. Take time to find out. Develop a
magnetic personality. See Key Five in my book, "Confidence, the Seven Keys to your Happiness."
Thank you for all your feedback
Lots of you mail me after each edition of TCI. Your words of encouragement mean a lot - many thanks indeed. Now in case you missed it last time, check out 3 Plus - Women worth Knowing an exclusive story that stopped the clock.
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