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Your Triple 'A' Rating

Eilidh Milnes 

A Triple 'A' Attitude

Book Eilidh

When your mission statement reads, "I plan to live till 100 (and more) to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise; to help other people achieve the same and have lots of fun along the way;" then you have a plan to work and you have to work that plan. Do you have a personal mission statement? It's not just something for corporate companies and organisations you know. And if like me, you have made many trips around the sun, you need something to help you focus as tempus fugit!

The Healthy Option

At 06.40 each morning Monday to Friday I walk 2 miles. I cycle regularly and chart my progress on Runkeeper. The important thing is accountability. Why not do similar? It really kick starts your day. However, if smart phones are not your thing, find a walking buddy or a dog as they're just as effective. Would you like to join my international 'Street Team', simply download Runkeeper - it's free - and find me there as eilidh1 - we can encourage each other and I'd appreciate your support. Two months ago, I gave up caffeine drinks and wine is a treat kept for weekends. In themselves each of these acts is just a small behavioural change, however taken together they form a much healthier lifestyle. What can you do today to make a change for the better in your life?

Money Matters plus a Bonus!

When is comes to keeping your personal funds in order you might need help. If you want to get your financial future into great shape you can start right now. My friend Robert Bauman’s new book 'Straight Money Talk – A Straightforward Plan for Financial Independence' has just been published. Click this link to get your copy now.

My Cool Beans Desktop says, "Money is a tool..." apply this simple money principle coupled with Robert's strategies and you too can learn to be a craftsman. When you buy the book, you will be taken to a bonus page with lots of fab free materials to download from experts such as Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Keith Leon ... and the editor of TCI.

Happiness = A Triple 'A' Attitude

Money and digits lead perfectly to this link. Enjoy the magic of mathematics. and figure out what 100% or 101% means to you? Develop your personal triple 'A' rating. Live your life with a passion and on purpose; a life lived by design and not by accident. And if the something happens, if something falls over (like one of those scrabble tiles above) perhaps your health, wealth or happiness,  then concentrate on the things are working well in your life. We all have 'life attacks...' and as you know...  and it's not what happens that counts it's how you react.

To Your Success!

Discover more:
Professional coaching  Confidence coaching sees proven results... 
An empowerment speaker  You'll love the difference...
A workshop facilitator What are your needs? Can we help?

Pass it on:  This information TCI may be freely re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line - "This information was written by Eilidh Milnes. It originally appeared in "Talk Confidence International" her free e-letter, available at www.eilidhmilnes.com." Thank you.

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Vitamins for the Mind

Eilidh Milnes 

 

Powerful Pictures

This edition includes a Ted Talk with breathtaking images. Enjoy Louie Schwartzberg's Happiness Revealed. It's thanks to reader Edna Lawton who told me, "I'm so glad that I watched this video. It is truly inspirational."

The Film Maker's Challenge

Take up Louie's challenge i.e. to bless someone with your eyes... your touch... your smile... simply with your presence today. The footage is compelling. I'm confident you'll enjoy it. So I'll keeping this edition short and sweet to give your more time click the link. However keen readers can read more with a story called "86,400 seconds."

Eilidh in the North-East

Another subscriber Linda Russell-Bond requested my last charity talk for 2012. It turns out that she and I have never actually met. Here's the thin thread that connects us:

1. Linda bought my book "... The Happiness Curriculum for Teachers,"
2. That was several years ago,
3. At that point Linda signed up for these ezines,
4. She has been receiving them ever since,
5. She describes them as her "vitamins for the mind!"

Linda has booked me to speak in Stockton-on-Tees on 18th October and I can't wait to meet this loyal subscriber and raise money for a worthy cause. If you want to know more, drop me a line.

Keep taking your vitamins! 

Till next time,

Ever Positive, Eilidh

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Pushing your luck

Eilidh Milnes 

Drilling your brain?

Years ago as a young student, I joined the GSUOTC (that's  the Glasgow & Strathclyde Universities Officers' Training Corps for the uninitiated) thanks to my good friend and flat mate Barbara Robertson. She was insistent! Drilling me with all sorts of reasons as to why we should sign up - it'll be fun, they'll teach us how to sail... ski... shoot! And they'll pay us for the priviledge. Now its got nothing to do with my Scottish thriftiness or that money motivated me, however as a poor student it was a huge attraction and benefit. Strangely though Barbara's invitation to join, led me to one of the biggest landmarks in my life - I met Jay, my ski instructor and future husband when we went on a "winter warfare course" cleverly disguised as a skiing trip to Aviemore!

Fortune will Favour you if you Push your Luck

Is someone digging at you to take action? If so, it's important that you associate and take advice from people you know, like and trust. Media and PR expert Alan Stevens asked me to be a guest blogger on Managing Reputation. Because he is a respected colleague and friend with a blog that has a wide reach and appeal, I gladly accepted. Enjoy the link to the story about "Pushing your Luck." It is true that fortune will favour you if you push your luck, in the right way and for the right reasons...

Nearly all booked for 2012

As many of you know, I deliver one free charity talk each month. I'm all booked up for this year apart from October. So if you live in UK and have a worthy cause that you would like me to support, then drop me a line. May's charity is The Joshua Tree. This event is SOLD OUT with a waiting list. And today's great news is that Joshua now 13, is in remission and has been selected to carry the Olympic Torch on May 30th! There can be no doubt that when he was going through his treatments Joshua must have had negative thoughts drilling into his brain, but being a young hero he fights on. And I am thrilled to be able to help raise funds.

The Final Ticket!

The charity allocated me a second ticket. I'd like to donate that back. If you wish to claim this last seat then mail or call me on 07876 786 784 today. The price is just £20.00, you'll sit at my table and we are guaranteed a lovely meal at the luxury Nunsmere Hall Hotel.

The IT Challenge

Did you learn new computer shortcuts since the last edition of TCI? If you need the links again here they are: Macs and Windows.
Enjoy a super fortnight and keep pushing your luck!

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The sandpit of life...

Eilidh Milnes 

Learn life's shortcuts

At the turn of the millennium, I wasn't so confident with computers and perhaps you feel this way even now. I never anticipated having the skills to build my own web pages, repair broken code or master social media.  Back then, Kyle was starting his IT business and living at home. He encouraged me to have a go with the 'black art of technology!'

"...Remember when I was a wee boy and we went to the beach? In a matter of seconds I could lay waste to perfect print-free sand by charging around barefoot. Well, with old operating systems you could do serious damage to your data in a similar fashion. But nowadays with the latest software programmes the most you could do is knock over a bucket of sand! So go and play on the big, beautiful beach of IT; safe in the knowledge that you really can't damage anything that I can't fix!" 

The iPad Video

The video is a great example of how technology is evolving faster than the minds of many. The secret is not to be afraid and to have a go - but not without reading the manual or seeking advice first!

Learn the shortcuts

If you have a confidence issue, take heart from Kyle's clever analogy.  In 2000, I was so nervous I could hardly switch on (or off) the computer. I had convinced myself that I was going to break or irretrievably damage files.... yet look at me now! I may never be a programming expert, however, I can do a lot more than I ever dreamed possible a decade ago! Of course, when I need help I take advice from experts such as Kyle, now an outstanding web technologist or the gurus at the Apple Store.

Confidence Plus

Have I made mistakes? You bet! Am I bothered? Well generally... no.  What's really amazing is that the confidence you gain in one area of your life, can be replicated in others, just like a shortcut e.g. if you had told me ten years ago that I'd be planning my third speaking tour in Australia and sponsoring the Flair Awards, I would have thought you mad! Me? Working on the other side of the world? Are you crazy? Yet I am! So what is stopping you... surely if I can, you can.  A great read is on page 7 here: What's Stopping You?

Create you own sandpit  

Wouldn't it be great, if we could use short cuts such as Control+ z  (or Command + z on Macs) to undo mistakes? My website has a 'Rollback.' This feature allows you to revert to a previous version. Wouldn't it be fantastic if we had this ability in life? Perhaps there is something you wish you had... or hadn't... done? Is something is stopping you from reaching your potential? Take positive steps today, create shortcuts - rollback into the sandpit of life. The thing we call a mistake or a failure is not the falling down but the staying down, so roll over and start afresh.

An IT Challenge

If you don't currently know or use computer computer shortcuts learn and use three (or three more) till the next edition of TCI. Keyboard shorts for Macs and Windows.

As always, Eilidh

Discover more:
Professional coaching  Confidence coaching sees proven results... 
An empowerment speaker  You'll love the difference...
A workshop facilitator What are your needs? Can we help?

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The Excuse Cycle

Eilidh Milnes 

  

The Excuse Cycle 

The most popular link on the last edition, was my Expert Presentation Tips. In fact, this Pdf was downloaded hundreds of times, which goes to prove that speaking in public continues to be a cause for concern. It is said that 80% of people would rather go to bed with snakes and spiders than speak in public!

Being able to communicate well, unlocks your potential and increases your productivity. And the most important conversations you have every day, are the ones you have with yourself. Proper self-talk will propel you to a more exciting, brighter and fulfilling future.

Fear? False Expectations Appearing Real...

It all starts between your ears. The anacronym for FEAR came to mind as I read a follower's Facebook post. She was praising Susan Jeffer's book, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway."  Have you read it? If not, click the link and review "Feel the Fear..." and others. The books are inspirational and self-help. Treat yourself to a copy or two now.

Spot #2

The second Facebook find was this motivational video by Samuel L Jackson. Take just one minute of your time to watch Jackson's - "Blame!" It's a powerful presentation, which I'm tempted to rename "The Excuse Cycle." Essentially it's about gun culture, however in my opinion the excuses Jackson gives are just as relevant to self-doubt. One reason is enough, one reason is as good as another -one excuse, any reason - rather than doing what needs to be done.  Read more.

Some Practical Ideas

If you do find youself in the cycle of excuses - "It's my mum's fault..." "Dad didn't encourage me..."  "People like me don't... can't... won't do that...." then you need to take action. Today! Use my WoW Process to keep you focused. Don't wait. No-one is promised the page on the planner marked tomorrow.

Spot #3

The final link is thanks to Ali Meehan who Tweeted a challenge on 3Plus International - Women Worth Knowing. I thought the contest worthy. Let's face it you can do anything for 10 days! Read how an App. helped me chart my success. Today is day 14!  I'm feeling exceptionally good about myself. I am chasing my targets, my waistline is slimmer and more of my wardrobe fits!

Factoid

Did you know that most people only wear 20% of their wardrobe 80% of the time? A staggering yet factual statistic. The venerable 80-20 Pareto rule applies: we wear 20% of our clothing 80% of the time, while the remaining 80% represent the freeloaders of the wardrobe clan!

Don't Be a Freeloader

Cast out the doubts -  treat yourself like a VIP - A Premiere Client. Don't be a freeloader in your own life. Just do a little - and do it often. Find a way of monitoring your success, such as my WoW programme, an App. or a spreadsheet and celebrate every success along the way!

Enjoyed this ezine?
If you have an idea to share, do mail or call, I'd love to hear from you. To post on social networks - simply use these AddThis icons. And finally, are we connected on LinkedIn? 

Discover more:

An empowerment speaker  You'll love the difference...

Pass it on: The information in TCI may be freely re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line - "This information was written by Eilidh Milnes. It originally appeared in "Talk Confidence International" her free e-letter, available at www.eilidhmilnes.com." Thank you.

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Think Things Done

Eilidh Milnes 

                                                     When your brain is in a vice...

                                             

"Chill yer beans ma," said Kyle.(roughly translated from young people speak to 'calm down mother!') "Think things done!" And so I did... There I was getting myself in a lather because I did not have time to review my final checklist. I don't know about you, but I'm a fan of lists and when it comes to preparing for a speaking engagement my final checklist is like a security blanket. Taking time to do the final checks gives me peace of mind, reassurance and of course more confidence. (More speaking and presentation tips here.)

Behind schedule

However I was running behind schedule (notice I did not say, I was 'late!') and beginning to feel a tad overwhelmed by all that still had to be done, when Kyle shared his wisdom, "think things done..." And you know... it worked. I was fussing over nothing. I did have all my materials. The cases were packed and in the car. I knew where I was going. "Alles in Ordenung," as my German readers would say.

Think things done - TTD!

Isn't it strange how we like to pressure our brains, to put them in a vice and then seem genuinely surprised when we feel discombobulated? Have you felt out of control recently? Have you had:

1. A deadline looming?
2. A presentation to work up?
3. A special menu to finalise?

Well that is the time to apply the TTD principle and chill yer beans :)

And it all went well

Some of you might be thinking, where's the proof? How do we know it all worked out well? Take a look at the evalution and feedback here. Thanks to Chris Davidson and Kyle for tweaking our spreadsheets! I thought about things... and they got them done... well that's another way of approaching a problem isn't it? (I'm looking for the smiley with a slightly evil grin, but can't spot it...I'm sure you can use your imagination.)

More links and likes

You've asked me to included these links again. Ants  Crabs Penguins.  Some readers have actually mailed to state their favourites. Thank you! 

ITV needs you! 

I've been contacted by Sheree Gordon of ITV. The programme "Come Dine With Me" is looking for people to take part in the show... so if you are in Cheshire, UK and this appeals to you...Bon appetit!  Read More!

Thinking things done, Eilidh

Pass it on:  The information in TCI may be freely re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line - "This information was written by Eilidh Milnes. It originally appeared in "Talk Confidence International" her free e-letter, available at www.eilidhmilnes.com." Thank you.

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Words Fail... See Pictures

Eilidh Milnes 

 

 

It's said a picture portrays a thousand words and looking at the video clip above, you'll see how I've been feeling recently. As a girl who speaks for a living it's not often that I'm lost for words however, this month has been a challenge on several fronts. On a number of occasions I've been at a loss to know what to say. I can hear you chucking, yes... me! Clients, family and colleagues have confounded me at times. Does this sound familiar to you? Most people are stunned to silence at some point - even a professional speaker.

People don't do things against you - they just do things for themselves...

If you experience feelings of dismay or disbelief, it's important to remember that people seldom go out of their way to upset you personally. They're much more likely to be following their own personal interests. Let me expand with this driving scenario; if a car pulls out in front of you, don't be tempted to shout out, gesticulate and think; "Why did he (or she) do that to me?" Let's face it, the motorist did not linger in that side road and pull out at precisely the moment you drove by! The driver was just acting on his (or her) own behalf. Watch what people do as opposed to what they say when you are confused by situations. Actions do speak louder than words.

Don't Give People Permission To Upset You! (Read more)

During my time as the external trainer for Cheshire Police, I delivered hundreds of "How to Deal with Difficult People" workshops. Want to know the top takeaway? This picture says it all - and more.

Just for fun

Another powerful picture is this one of disbelief.

Why versus what

If you don't know why you do what you do, then take 15 minutes to watch this Ted Talk footage, in which Simon Sinek explains his Golden Circle Theory; i.e. that people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. Listen out at 13.03 as Sinek supports my theory. He has a different analogy to prove that people do things for themselves.

Social Media

If  you enjoyed this edition, please comment on Facebook or Twitter. You'll find the necessary links on my home page.

Quick Link:
Proven coaching satisfaction

Pass it on: The information in TCI may be freely re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line - "This information was written by Eilidh Milnes. It originally appeared in "Talk Confidence International" her free e-letter, available at www.eilidhmilnes.com." Thank you.

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The Happiness Jar - Train your Brain

Eilidh Milnes 

  I don't give you permission to upset me today!

What do you say when you talk to yourself? What does your self esteem sound like? Do you monitor your self-talk? If I were to step inside your head would I hear?

• Well done!
• Excellent!
• Great job!

Nagging Negative Nellie

Or would I find you talking yourself down with limiting self-beliefs? How do you fancy starting your day with encouraging positive statements such as:

• "Hello gorgeous!" 
• "Today is going to go really well!"
• "I'm great at my job!"
• "People really appreciate what I do!"
• "I look to praise others."
  

Your Happiness Jar

Some clients find the idea of happiness jar helpful. The concept? Each time you say something upbeat aloud, drop an object into the jar. Once you have a number of items (such as buttons, marbles or coins) shake it! Find out what your self esteem sounds like. Use the jingly jar to reinforce positive statements. Learn to protect yourself from the negativity that will undoubtedly ambush you throughout the day. Many people will try to kill your happy spirit. And when they do, either physically or virtually, shake your jar!

Don't Give Them Permission To Upset You!

Your self esteem is armour and it likes to shine. So be your own cheerleader; your own best friend. Look for allies to bolster your self-image. Don't let the condemnation, criticism and complaints of others silence the small voice in your head which is telling you that you're a winner. Do this for the next 21 days - you'll begin to see a difference.

The backstory
In a similar way, I used to encourage my students. I asked them to be "good finders." Looking for the good around them. They would:

1. Write it down a positive statement about a classmate,
2. Place this comments in the "Happiness Jar!" (sometimes called the "Star Jar,")
   
3. Each day, we'd select three cards to read out loud.

The pupils loved the independent praise of their peers.The comments were many and varied and highlighted acts of kindness and friendship not just academic success.This simple activity developed an atmosphere of cooperation between pupils, staff and parents.

As for Business...

Check out how Derek Williams of The Wow Awards transfers this concept and develops the idea of "spotting people doing things really well" in organisations and companies. The outcome? More happy and productive workplaces delivery outstanding customer service.

Just for fun: 

These three links depict Ants  Crabs Penguins. Decide if you identify with any of them - it's team-work with a difference. Enjoy!

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Watch your language...

Eilidh Milnes 

The Power of Attraction!

For over twenty years I’ve been working with clients. And one thing is for sure; if you want to get on the right side of someone, learn to speak his or her "language". This fact applies to sales, customer care and personal relationships. Now at the same time as I was starting my first business back in 1992, Dr Gary Chapman was publishing similar observations and findings in his book, The Five Love Languages.  Since then, the book has sold over five million copies and is regularly on the New York Times bestseller list. It's been translated into more than forty languages.

Communicating that you care

After many years of partner counselling, therapist Dr. Chapman observed how, without even realising it themselves, his patients used a specific "love language" to express their love. Five key categories proved to be universal and comprehensive. I studied his methods and results. It intrigued me that my family all had different preferences and not surprisingly when I started to communicate with them in their preferred way, relationships improved and deepened.

Receiving gifts

Some people only feel loved when they receive a gift. But it’s not about the gift itself. It’s the thought and effort behind it that makes them flourish. In this love language, a missed birthday or anniversary is disastrous. Of course we probably like many of these "languages". The magic is in spotting your predominant one.

Words of affirmation

If this is your key love language words speak louder than actions. Your spirit soars when you hear unsolicited compliments or those three magic words “I love you.” Without them, you may feel taken for granted or – even worse – neglected or ignored.

Quality time

Giving someone your full and undivided attention may be the way to this person’s heart. Turn off the TV, put down your knife and fork. Look into your partner’s eyes, really listen and forget about all the many items on your to-do list. In the vocabulary of this language, distraction, postponements or not listening can be particularly hurtful.

Acts of service

Want to win your way into this woman’s heart? Anything you do to lighten her burden of responsibilities translates into “I love you,” whether that’s picking up the kids from school or cooking dinner or washing the windows. Laziness, broken commitments and creating additional work translate into, “Your feelings don’t matter to me.”

Physical touch

Not surprisingly, a person whose primary language is physical touch is likely to be very touchy themselves. A spontaneous hug or thoughtful pat speaks excitement, concern, care ... and love. It took me aback to realise my 6'2" muscular, rugger playing son was off the chart on physical touch. He loves nothing better than a family group hug.

Read more here and pick up the link to the book. I wonder what love languages your close family and friends prefer. Take time to find out. Develop a magnetic personality. See Key Five in my book, "Confidence, the Seven Keys to your Happiness."

Thank you for all your feedback

Lots of you mail me after each edition of TCI. Your words of encouragement mean a lot - many thanks indeed. Now in case you missed it last time, check out 3 Plus - Women worth Knowing an exclusive story that stopped the clock.

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The Odd Socks

Eilidh Milnes 

 

The Sock Solution

How does it happen? You put a pair of socks into the washing machine, yet when you hang out the clothes you've lost a sock! Is this scenario familiar to you or is it just me? Does your appliance eat socks as well? Over decades, Jay and I have had debates as to how it is that one sock can go walk-about. Where do they go? Is there a land of lost socks? I started to buy two identical pairs, to increase the odds of finding socks that matched! Then with the arrival of 2012 I thought it time to knock this silly situation on the head.

The Solution

1. Jay now has a laundry bag (as above)
2. He is responsible for placing his socks into the bag in pairs,
3. Socks are washed and duly returned in the bag - job jobbed! 
   

Simple solutions work

Isn't it strange how matters can get out of hand? Yet by putting a process in place you can mostly likely fix things. Apply a sock solution to any issue that you've maybe been ignoring. Get started! Get active! Get moving! Begin with daily physical exercise such as swimming, cycling or walking. Think of as many ways as possible to be mentally proactive by allowing for chill and kick-back time in your daily routine -  a creative solution will appear if you give your mind the opportunity. If you have good stories or ideas to share please be like Graham and drop me a line:

Reader feedback - sometimes bad things happen - it's how you react that counts - Graham's comment:

"Eilidh, I took a redundancy package from work for just the reasons you mention in your last e-shot. (see the post below). I was working with people who always had a reason not to do something, rather than putting in the same effort and channelling that into positive action. It's so draining for those around them, and I'm sure for them too -  but at least they did have a choice. After a couple of months off, I am now ready to start going forwards, for a change!
The other reason I have e-mailed is I saw the attached link, and thought of you...in the sense that I could imagine you saying the same things.  There are lots of ideas on this website, some of which I get, others are too 'New Age'..."

Whether you see the link as 'New Age' or not, we are already nearly three weeks into a new year... whatever you are doing, make it count.

Guest Blogger

I am privileged to be invited to contribute to a number of publications and blogs. Check out 3 Plus - Women worth Knowing This link takes you to an exclusive story that stopped the clock. Feel free to add your thoughts...

If you enjoyed this edition? Then do post it on social networks. It's easy to Re-tweet @eilidhmilnes. You'll find links to my Twitter-wall and Facebook on my homepage. Thank you.

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