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Redundancy - Tips for Dealing with Change - Part 2

Eilidh Milnes 

Talk, Look & Listen

Communications are always important, but especially so when you face change. A lack of communication from others can have a negative impact, while effective communication can have a positive one. From a purely pragmatic standpoint, you need details about any changes ahead, so that you can determine how it affects you. Don’t just sit back and wait for things to happen. Talk to your boss, your boss’s boss, and your colleagues to get their perspective and ‘spin’. When dealing with work associates however, be aware that news can be distorted and can be mixed with rumours and bias and downright lies!

Part of the fear of change involves dealing with the unknown. If possible, try to minimise this factor by talking to others who have undergone such a change. 

• What difficulties did they experience?
• How did they deal with them? 
• How can you adapt their experiences to your own situation? 

Your communications should involve more than just people in your own department or company. They should involve people in other companies as well. They might have experienced the same change, so their advice has value. They might also serve as valuable contacts should you decide to change jobs.

SWOT it!

Companies, in planning for the future, often conduct a SWOT analysis for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT). This type of analysis can be just as helpful to you. 

• What skills and strengths do you have? 
• Where do you need to improve? 

By understanding your own strengths and weaknesses, and knowing as much as you can about the new situation, you have a better chance of finding a place to fit in.

Bend and flex

Change requires flexibility. The better able you are to adapt to change, the greater your chances of being successful. After you complete your self-assessment, take a look at the requirements of the new situation. Maybe your current job doesn’t fit exactly into it. However, what skills, from your old role, can you apply to the new situation? In other words, instead of focusing on differences, focus on similarities. Play to your strengths.

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Redundancy - Tips for Dealing with Change

Eilidh Milnes 

Tips for Dealing with Change

Recognise that change does happen

Embrace it! The more we understand that change will happen, the less upset and surprised we will be when we encounter that change. Denying that change will happen only makes things more difficult.

Office gossip

Recognising that change happens is highly desirable. It’s even better, though, to recognise when change might be occurring in your own specific situation. Keep alert to subtle clues e.g. Are you being excluded from important meetings? Does your boss seem more distant? Are their rumours in the air? What are the stories around the water cooler/ photocopier/fax machine?

Stages

Reactions to organisational change resemble those to the death of a loved one, according to the work of psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. The early stages include shock and denial (refusing to believe what has happened and instead believing everything will be all right), guilt (at not having done or said more or for not being the decedent), and anger (at the decedent or at God). Later, one passes through the stages of acceptance (acknowledging what has happened) and moving on.

With respect to organisational change, an additional “negotiations” stage can occur, in which the affected person offers to work harder as a way of preventing or forestalling the change.

All the stages don’t necessarily occur. The progression might not be a smooth linear one, and different amounts of time may be involved with the different stages. Regardless, the quicker you get to the acceptance and moving on stages, the better it will be for you.

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Take Support from other People

Eilidh Milnes 

Where would Luke Skywalker be without Obi-Wan Kenobi? Where would Paul Daniels be without Debbie Mc Gee? Bad places most likely.
If you know someone who is really good at doing what you are about to do, ask them for advice and guidance. Or if you feel uncomfortable with this direct approach because you do not know them well enough, watch them closely.

• How do they act?
• How do they approach the situation?
• How do they react to high-pressure?

You can also learn from high profile and famous people so long as the role model is relevant to you. Tiger Wood's golf swing is not going to help your presentation pitch persae, but watching Barack Obama speak on YouTube might.
It's also helpful to learn from the mistakes of others. The Apprentice may or may not appeal to you as ideal TV viewing, however if you use your observation skills you can learn a lot from this programme - something that sadly many of Sir Alan's weaker candidates are totally oblivious to.
So go ahead and take support from someone you know, like and trust. You'll probably find that he/she is highly flattered by your request and more than happy to help you.

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Look in the Mirror

Eilidh Milnes 

Michael Jackson is on nearly every radio station play-list at the moment. I've just been listening "Man in the Mirror". The lyrics are powerful. 
"I'm Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life It's Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference Gonna Make It Right.... I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways..."

Apart from saying something encouraging to yourself such as "Good Morning Gorgeous!" every day; I suggest in my Cool Beans Desktop "If things to wrong, look in the mirror and say, "OK let's fix this problem!"

What do you think? You do hold the cards for your life in your hands. How do you plan to play them today?

 

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Talk Confidence = Are YOU Feeling Guilty?

Eilidh Milnes 

Reading time: 602 words = 2 minutes or so....

If you are reading this in UK you will no doubt have been experiencing a lovely spell of weather - a veritable heat wave in fact! Wherever in the world you are, I hope you take time to relax and enjoy some chill time. Or would this make you feel guilty? More of guilt anon...

Traditionally, June is a busy month in the life of a professional speaker and for my part, it's been a hectic month of work ranging from Essential Competitive Life Skills,  A Pink Champagne Charity Luncheon with Business Consort, stress-proofing the minds of some 200 CIMA accountants to Interview Skills with university candidates.

One of our PSA prospective members and my new Twitter friend Ali Turnbull from Fit to Print said, "Eilidh, you put the canin candidate." What a kind comment! Thank you Ali! Certainly one of my key objectives when I coach people to speak is to be can=did and to empower them to think positively and face their fears with a "can" attitude.

As a result of speaking all over the country this month, I have spent many hours on trains and tubes. My mother had alternative thinking when it came to parental guidance, "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."  So not surprisingly I speak to people I do not know all the time and have met many fascinating travelling companions as a result. I see life as one big speaking opportunity!

One such stranger, Anne-Marie works within the NHS. As we chatted on the Heathrow Express last weekend, she told me that having been brought up as a Roman Catholic in Ireland, she carries feelings of extreme guilt associated with just about every aspect of her life. This is no criticism of Catholicism or religion, however for whatever reason unwarranted guilt does seem to pervade and spoil the lives of many people.

Do you experience guilt? At some point we all do don't we? And possibly rightly so. Have you felt this way recently? Maybe you should ask yourself why? Everyone likes to be listened to. Do you listen to yourself - your positive self? Do a check-up from the neck up! In some cases your bad feelings may have been justified but in many others they will not be. 

My advice for when you feel GUILTY for no apparent good reason? Do some brainwashing -  some mental gymnastics  - some alternative thinking:

G = Give

U = U (yourself)

I = Indulgent

L = Leisure (and pleasure)

T = Time

Y = Yes (Y = Yahoo! Y = Yipee!)

Simply see GUILT differently. Why not? I expand on this concept in Chapter 6 page 91 of my book, "Love you Life... Survive the System..."  entitled "Ideas to Make your day Fun!" and on my Blog this week. Please join in the debate. Or post on the Confidence Club. There are diverse topics to choose from. 

SPECIAL OFFER Exclusive to Talk Confidence Readers:

Buy a copy of "Love your Life..." or my New Confidence 7 Keys Book Bundle and receive a Cool Beans Desktop FREE (normally £7.99) You can have either book plus desktop for just £15.00 simply mail or call the office on +441270 212999 to order your copies today.

Now, let's all head back into the sun (antipodean readers I know this could be a challenge!) share some guilt-free quality time with friends and family... and maybe even a stranger! 

Have fun!

Why not tell a friend about "Talk Confidence International?" Thank you!

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Are you Guilty?

Eilidh Milnes 

Watching Murray play tennis against Wawrinka I have a new acronym for GUILTY.

G = Giving

U = Us

I = Incredible

L = Live

T = Tennis

Y = YES!

My normal acronym for looking differently at guilt is:

G = Give

U = U (yourself)

I = Indulgent

L = Leisure (and pleasure)

T = Time

Y = Yes ( Yahoo! Yipee!)

Look out for the June/July newsletter which explains this concept in more detail. 

Right now we are back at deuce and the tension is terrible. Advantage Wawrinka oh blue, blast and botheration! .... Gets to 5 sets and.... then RESULT! No feelings of guilt for Andy. He played a superb game. He is now through to the quarter finals and will play a bit of a wild card - Juan Carlos Ferrero. Time for Andy and Stanilas to have some indulgent leisure time, don't you think? 

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Stress-proof Your Mind - Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes

Eilidh Milnes 

It is all very well writing your Christmas letter to Santa Claus however if you do not put thought and effort into gifts for others, there is not going to be a a lot of festive fun, is there?

The same goes for when you go to an important meeting, it is vital that you have your objectives and goals written down and well rehearsed beforehand. It is also key to have considered the needs of others. What are they going to be looking for? What is their best outcome from the meeting?

What will impress an interviewer sufficiently to give your that raise or to choose your company and services over your competitors? You need to look at things through their eyes. This planned approach will also help prevent any nasty surprise questions coming up.

Do your research and imagine how you would feel and react in their position.

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Eilidh Milnes 

Reading time: less than 2 minutes

On Tuesday, 12th May I was invited to Deutsche Bank's WEB Conference (Women in European Business) in the Barbican. It was an amazing experience! In a matter of hours, two thousand women had signed up for the event which was massively oversubscribed. Deutsche Bank's strap line is A Passion to Perform and they certainly matched up a performance speaker. The atmosphere in the auditorium was one of electric excitement and animated anticpation for the keynoter - Benjamin Zander. Mr Zander, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, is also one of the most sought after speakers in the world, and author of the powerful book, 'The Art of Possibility.' Ben Zander delivered his keynote with so much energy that I'd liken him to 'Tigger' on Speed!  Delegates often say that I speak with energy and passion but I stand in awe of Mr Ben Zander. That night I found myself a speaker hero - so I had to email him:

"Dear Ben

Your presentation at the Barbican was truly inspirational. I live in Cheshire and travelled to London especially for the WEB event, when I realised that you were to be the keynote speaker. Having read the 'Art of Possibility', it was superb to hear you expand on your theories. It was also touching to hear you speak so kindly from the stage about your wife and co-author Rosamund - my audiences often hear about my husband's escapades from the platform - I am encouraged by the parallel methods we use to communicate. As a speaker, I love to watch the craft and delivery mechanisms of a true professional. The way you mix your music with your philosophies is unique and powerful. Never again will I listen to that piece of Chopin in the same way. Your energy and passion were infectious and for me your talk ended all too soon.

On my wedding day, my mother gave me advice regarding my future husband Jay, "Treat him like a prince... and one day he will treat you like a princess..." Isn't this very similar to your thinking when you extol  'A' students to study the art of possibilities? Both methods of thinking require that you talk your goals and dreams into reality. Today, Jay is hero to our children and many of their friends besides. And as for me? Well I am treated like royalty :) Over the years I have talked my prince into real time even though occasionally I did wonder if I had actually kissed the frog! During our tough times I would ask myself, "What if Jay's feeling the same way about me?" Horrified that this could even be a possibility, I changed my attitude and took responsibility for my actions. At the end of the day, you have to be the change in your own life, don't you? I have the words of a wise woman to thank for amazing family relationships. Similarly, Ben your sage words will influence people who choose to embrace the 'Art of Possibility.' Thank you for a wonderful evening of enlightenment and entertainment." 

Ben Zander's office has since been in touch with me.  My email testimonial has been added to his website  I urge you to read Ben's book. Possibility thinking and talking what you want into existence are powerful beyond belief. Both ideas are based on the laws of harvest. Both require you to dream bigger than you have ever dared before. Both require a leap of faith coupled with the work to make it happen. And you have to sow before you can reap.... I wonder what are you sowing at the moment? Why don't you take a moment to reflect on this question?

Staying upbeat in a downturn can be a challenge. One of my clients has just seen both of her children made redundant within the last six weeks. Not only does she have her own issues to deal with, now she is at a loss to know how to help her son and daughter. She posted a note on the Forum topic Redundancy is it really OK? and Jackie responded with excellent advice, which is worth reading. If you are going through hard times it could be time to start sowing and planting lots of positive thoughts and messages -  your harvest is guaranteed if you follow these three steps:

• Dream
• Believe
• Do

Ask yourself "What if... What if..." What would you do if you knew you were destined to be an "A" student of life? What a possibility... Do you have a Passion to Perform like Deutsche Bank? Is there passion and fire inside you? If so, it can empower you to do whatever needs to be done in your life right now. Think of Nike Ad words:

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.... AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES."

From C to C or from Chopin to Coldplay....

FREE Music Download: On Twitter, Su Butcher Tweeted this link: http://lrlrl.coldplay.com/leftright.html It's a totally FREE download for fans, just enter your email address and click the download button! Takes far less time than you might expect too... Happy listening... Why not follow me on Twitter? Or on LinkedIn...

And of course holler if you think I can help you or your organisation in anyway...

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Stress-proof Your Mind - Be Prepared

Eilidh Milnes 

Any good Boy Scout knows the value of being well prepared it is certainly more useful than the dib dib, dob dob mantra. And if you talk to any professional sportsman or successful business person they too will endorse the importance of preparation. 

Step 1 prepare for what your are going to do. Whether that is running, fighting or giving a presentation; make sure it's exactly what it needs to be. 

Step 2 rehearse with people who are going to be critical. Secondly, get the right level of arousal - a fighter or footballer would require a more heightened level than snooker player. You cannot go into a meeting hyped up Wayne Rooney -  you need to relax and focus on the task ahead. Take long deep breaths and establish a regular breathing pattern. Before you go in, visualise yourself being successful. If it helps you can imagine something calming such as a tranquil beach or listen to music.

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Stress-proof Your Mind

Eilidh Milnes 

Stress-proof Your Mind

Several of my clients are either looking for new job or a promotion at the moment. We all want to keep our 

cool at interviews and here is a tip to become the iceman of the office; a tip for controlling nerves on a big occasion.

Set specific targets:

Just like a footballer standing in front of a penalty shoot-out you need to know what you are going to do prior to the event. The player 

decides where he is going to put the ball beforehand and he sticks to it - the same goes for you. 

If you are preparing for a big moment in your career or in business - you need to know what you want before you enter

the room. You need to know exactly what your goals are. Think to yourself, "I want a raise, a promotion or a new contract 

with a client." This will keep you focused while you are in the meeting and give your something to concentrateon if you start to panic.

Look at things through others' eyes to prevent surprise questions coming up...

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