The Confidence Coach

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Are you Guilty?

Eilidh Milnes - Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Watching Murray play tennis against Wawrinka I have a new acronym for GUILTY.
G = Giving
U = Us
I = Incredible
L = Live
T = Tennis
Y = YES!
My normal acronym for looking differently at guilt is:
G = Give
U = U (yourself)
I = Indulgent
L = Leisure (and pleasure)
T = Time
Y = Yes ( Yahoo! Yipee!)
Look out for the June/July newsletter which explains this concept in more detail. 
Right now we are back at deuce and the tension is terrible. Advantage Wawrinka oh blue, blast and botheration! .... Gets to 5 sets and.... then RESULT! No feelings of guilt for Andy. He played a superb game. He is now through to the quarter finals and will play a bit of a wild card - Juan Carlos Ferrero. Time for Andy and Stanilas to have some indulgent leisure time, don't you think? 


Stress-proof Your Mind - Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes

Eilidh Milnes - Tuesday, June 16, 2009
It is all very well writing your Christmas letter to Santa Claus however if you do not put thought and effort into gifts for others, there is not going to be a a lot of festive fun, is there?
The same goes for when you go to an important meeting, it is vital that you have your objectives and goals written down and well rehearsed beforehand. It is also key to have considered the needs of others. What are they going to be looking for? What is their best outcome from the meeting?
What will impress an interviewer sufficiently to give your that raise or to choose your company and services over your competitors? You need to look at things through their eyes. This planned approach will also help prevent any nasty surprise questions coming up.
Do your research and imagine how you would feel and react in their position.

Eilidh Milnes - Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Reading time: less than 2 minutes

On Tuesday, 12th May I was invited to Deutsche Bank's WEB Conference (Women in European Business) in the Barbican. It was an amazing experience! In a matter of hours, two thousand women had signed up for the event which was massively oversubscribed. Deutsche Bank's strap line is A Passion to Perform and they certainly matched up a performance speaker. The atmosphere in the auditorium was one of electric excitement and animated anticpation for the keynoter - Benjamin Zander. Mr Zander, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, is also one of the most sought after speakers in the world, and author of the powerful book, 'The Art of Possibility.' Ben Zander delivered his keynote with so much energy that I'd liken him to 'Tigger' on Speed!  Delegates often say that I speak with energy and passion but I stand in awe of Mr Ben Zander. That night I found myself a speaker hero - so I had to email him:

"Dear Ben
Your presentation at the Barbican was truly inspirational. I live in Cheshire and travelled to London especially for the WEB event, when I realised that you were to be the keynote speaker. Having read the 'Art of Possibility', it was superb to hear you expand on your theories. It was also touching to hear you speak so kindly from the stage about your wife and co-author Rosamund - my audiences often hear about my husband's escapades from the platform - I am encouraged by the parallel methods we use to communicate. As a speaker, I love to watch the craft and delivery mechanisms of a true professional. The way you mix your music with your philosophies is unique and powerful. Never again will I listen to that piece of Chopin in the same way. Your energy and passion were infectious and for me your talk ended all too soon.

On my wedding day, my mother gave me advice regarding my future husband Jay, "Treat him like a prince... and one day he will treat you like a princess..." Isn't this very similar to your thinking when you extol  'A' students to study the art of possibilities? Both methods of thinking require that you talk your goals and dreams into reality. Today, Jay is hero to our children and many of their friends besides. And as for me? Well I am treated like royalty :) Over the years I have talked my prince into real time even though occasionally I did wonder if I had actually kissed the frog! During our tough times I would ask myself, "What if Jay's feeling the same way about me?" Horrified that this could even be a possibility, I changed my attitude and took responsibility for my actions. At the end of the day, you have to be the change in your own life, don't you? I have the words of a wise woman to thank for amazing family relationships. Similarly, Ben your sage words will influence people who choose to embrace the 'Art of Possibility.' Thank you for a wonderful evening of enlightenment and entertainment." 

Ben Zander's office has since been in touch with me.  My email testimonial has been added to his website  I urge you to read Ben's book. Possibility thinking and talking what you want into existence are powerful beyond belief. Both ideas are based on the laws of harvest. Both require you to dream bigger than you have ever dared before. Both require a leap of faith coupled with the work to make it happen. And you have to sow before you can reap.... I wonder what are you sowing at the moment? Why don't you take a moment to reflect on this question?

Staying upbeat in a downturn can be a challenge. One of my clients has just seen both of her children made redundant within the last six weeks. Not only does she have her own issues to deal with, now she is at a loss to know how to help her son and daughter. She posted a note on the Forum topic Redundancy is it really OK? and Jackie responded with excellent advice, which is worth reading. If you are going through hard times it could be time to start sowing and planting lots of positive thoughts and messages -  your harvest is guaranteed if you follow these three steps:
  • Dream
  • Believe
  • Do
Ask yourself "What if... What if..." What would you do if you knew you were destined to be an "A" student of life? What a possibility... Do you have a Passion to Perform like Deutsche Bank? Is there passion and fire inside you? If so, it can empower you to do whatever needs to be done in your life right now. Think of Nike Ad words:

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.... AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES."

From C to C or from Chopin to Coldplay....
FREE Music Download: On Twitter, Su Butcher Tweeted this link: http://lrlrl.coldplay.com/leftright.html It's a totally FREE download for fans, just enter your email address and click the download button! Takes far less time than you might expect too... Happy listening... Why not follow me on Twitter? Or on LinkedIn...

And of course holler if you think I can help you or your organisation in anyway...