Thank you to Nigel Davis Regional Director at HSBC for forwarding the March Edition of Talk Confidence to his management team. I hope they found the content and the F1 analogy useful and thought provoking. Staying with the theme of racing we are going from one extreme to another- from racing cars to racing bikes.
Today could you see your life more like a bicycle? A super deluxe 21-gear bike road bike - of course and one that is worth thousands of pounds? Do you treasure it and keep it for dry days only? Or take it out and use it according to the manufacturer's instructions. And mostly importantly, do you use all your gears? You know many people have gears in life that they have never ever used... I wonder why that is?
Sometimes we need a wake up call to bring us to our senses. My amazing big sister, Lawther has had cancer not just once but twice. And if that were not bad enough she was in intensive care for nearly two weeks due to rampant MRSA. When I see her scarred body it breaks my heart and I know it distresses her too. However, Lawther considers herself lucky and has decided to live her life to the full and have no regrets She thinks she is fortunate to have had cancer because now she is better, unlike her husband who has Parkinson's Disease.... She has even created the wording for her tombstone... it will read, "Sorry you missed me..." What a fantastic attitude to have. I admire her outstanding positive attitude and brave spirit don't you? You know wherever you are in life and whatever your circumstances you always have choices... and choices are power.
So, if we choose Lawther's survivor spirit because we are in our own personal race for life, free-wheeling does seem a waste of talent and energy. How did her story make you feel? Writing it made me think - OK bad things happen, but since life is not a practice run or a dress rehearsal I'd better make the best of what I've got.
It's good to relax , chill and take stock however if you are simply drifting that is another matter. If this sounds like you, is it because you do not know your options? How many gears do you have? Do you know how to use your differentials? Are you a bit frightened to try something new? What if you have an accident? You might fall off and people could laugh at you? Maybe you need stabilizers?
Or maybe your problem is SOYA ? SOYA = sitting on your *@?* . Forgive this peccadillo. But is your issue that for too long has your cycle has been gathering dust and rust? I can speak from personal SOYA experiences. Recently, it has been just too easy to slip into the good life and take my eye off the ball... but no more free-wheeling for me now.
Every so often we all need to do some serious life laundry and gain fresh a perspective on where we are and what we are doing. It is madness to think we will get different results if when we keep doing the same things!As I say in my book, "If you want to see changes, you have to go to places you have never been."
Five Coach Confidence Boosters for Staying Upbeat and Positive in Good Times and Bad
1. Communicate Your Needs
People are not mind readers, so ask for what you want. How does your boss know how you feel if you don't tell him? How does your partner feel if you don't share your thoughts? If you have concerns about your circumstances you need to speak out. How do your colleagues know your position if you just sit in the corner feeling agrieved? How do your children know you love them if your quality time together can be counted in minutes and seconds rather than hours and days? How do your customers know about your services if you don't tell them?
I feel another thank you coming on - this time to my fab business mentor, Mark Greenhalgh. Two weeks ago, he reminded me about the importance of making phone calls and speaking in person to my clients. I can't believe how much fresh business I have secured as a result and what fun it has been catching up with people.
When you are talking, use clear ‘I’ statements about how you feel and what you think. "I need help..." "I want you to do...." "I think we should..." "I can help you..." As you do so, you will not only appear more confident, you’ll also feel it as well. Life only gets better when you do. And as you probably know, your vision and attitude will determine your altitude.
And if SOYA is your challenge, then in the words of a memorable UK political quotation, "Get on your bike!" And Tips 2-5 for Staying Upbeat in a Downturn will be in subsequent ezines so look out for those...Whatever you are doing in life, do it with gusto! Grab hold of what you want, pedal like fury and as you race downhill using all your gears, cheer at your crazy antics; take your feet off the pedals, feel the wind in your hair and find the child within.
Holler if you think I can help you, your colleagues or friends and please forward to anyone who may enjoy "Talk Confidence!".
Finally, I'll take my own advice and ask you a clear question "Can you refer my services to friends or colleagues?"