Time to read: 425 words
How to Gain Confidence
Confidence can help in every aspect of your life. It can be gained or strengthened using some simple tips and techniques, which are explained in my new book, “Confidence the 7 Keys to Your Happiness.”  Confidence is developed through experience. Once you master your skills and the ability to gain confidence through spaced repetition then your routine actions repeated day after day, become a leviathan of positivity.

Confidence is a relatively simple psychological tool that can power you forward to great things. So why is it so hard for most people to achieve self-confidence? In my opinion, a large percentage of the blame can be attributed to the fact that many people spend their early years actively attacking confidence and talking themselves and others down. They enjoy "pity parties." Some people stop this negative behaviour in their teens, others sadly continue throughout their lives. Why?  Probably because of the unpleasant human instinct and belief that you can gain confidence for yourself by destroying the confidence of others. Not so.

Luckily, this particular human flaw can be turned around to work for you. Study the drawing above. It is one of a unique set of illustrations, "The Happy Cat Collection" created by Mark Edmonds for my new book on confidence. "Happy" the cat sees himself as a lion. Of course, when other cats look at Happy, they don't see a lion, they see a cat. However, Happy’s body language and demeanor declare to all the other cats that he holds himself in very high regard. The other cats think that Happy the lion cat is very self-assured and probably for a good reason. They do not doubt his confidence. After all, throughout his cat childhood; Happy the lion cat was thoroughly "tested" by all the other kittens - yet he maintains his self-confidence. Other cats do not question Happy's self-belief; they simply accept it. You can adopt a "Happy" positive attitude.
 
Confidence works as a self-fueling cycle; a self-perpetuating prophecy; either for the positive or for the negative. That is why once your confidence is damaged, it can be difficult to re-programme it back onto the right track. However, help is at hand.
 
Confidence we all have it, we all lose it... we all want it. Read more about how to be more confident in my new book available direct from me, (the cheapest and quickest method) or on-and off-line. Just drop me a line and we'll get your copy in the post... or download it from Lulu... Thank you.

You can follow this blog via my Twitter and LinkedIn updates.

Whoohoo! We have just taken stock of the first consignment of "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness" ready for immediate shipment. We increased the book specification and caused the printer a challenge. However the outcome is an even better book - and you can NOW order your copy. For the next week, we'll honour the introductory price to TCI readers - just £12.00 including P&P. So just drop us a line with your details and we'll get your copy in the post straightaway. You can pay by cash, cheque, BACS, via PayPal in the Shop. If you wish to order or download via Lulu that is an option too.

In "Love your Life Survive the System," I used my experience from working in business and education to write a happiness curriculum for teachers. I’ve built on this success in "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness." Using stories, strategies and coaching techniques, the new book shows you how to the find passion to drive you forward. You'll read about how others conquered confidence challenges; how they overcame disillusionment, bolstered their self-esteem and successfully rode the roller-coaster of life. If they can, so can you.

The three lucky winners of the Free Prize Draw are Jane Shaw, Sarah Jones and John Bridle. We'll be in touch regarding the FREE teleseminar in due course. Your complimentary book is already on its way. Thanks to all of you for the kind referrals.
As you may know, we recently attended the civil ceremony of our son's wedding in Germany. There are seven photos here if you want to see the handsome couple. And if we are not yet linked on Facebook then let's make that happen.

Do you need...   Professional coaching for you or your team?            An empowerment speaker?          A  workshop facilitator or trainer for your next event?
Twitter: http://twitter.com/eilidhmilnes           LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/eilidh-milnes/0/232/b23

Have you ever been stung? I was - last weekend. We were attending the BMW Festival at Gaydon. The wasps were swarming and one found me irresistible. It was very painful. The paramedic's simple treatment surprised me - apply vinegar and add an ice pack. She did not recommend proprietary medicines, much preferring a simple solution. Her action reminded me of a news report last year from our time in Australia. This is a link to a survival story of a young girl, who was saved by the quick-witted reactions of strangers. They saved her life by applying vinegar.

Straightforward approaches often work best. The acronym of KISS is a great maxim:

• Keep
• It
• Short
• Simple

Life is often over-complicated by sophistication. You can be tempted to buy in packaged remedies to your work/life issues, rather than looking at your problems and dealing with them straightaway in an easy and simple manner; while they are manageable and before they get out of hand. You too can use simple tools and applications that you have had to hand. I explore this theme in my new book... use a common sense approach; the common sense that is not always common practice... it could be your salvation and prevent a lot of needless pain.

In the past ten days, I've have had three enquiries to speak at conferences. Two are from public sector organisations and the other from a blue chip company. Despite the diverse backgrounds these clients, all want me to speak on similar themes:

1. how to be more confident in the current climate,
2. how to promote positive thinking,
3. how to to raise visibility.

All three have decided to purchase my new book, Confidence the 7 Keys to your Happiness and personalise it for their employees. I'll tell you more about this unique and exciting option very soon.

In the meantime, I'm off to stock up on Sarsons Malt :)

(P.O.I. for international readers - 'Sarsons' is probably the best known vinegar in UK)

And remember if I can help you in any way - just ask...

"Will you marry me?" is possibly one of the most important questions you will ever ask (or be asked.) Your life hinges on the response. Kyle will marry the beautiful Sarah Blum on July 31st in her home town of Fulda. He proposed to the girl of his dreams in style; to find out how simply re-arrange these words: ring, 5*, Venice, luxury, chilled, jacuzzi, champagne! Now doesn't that conjure up a romantic picture. Share their and happiness and savour for a moment...

We asked for help on Friday 9th July. I was due to attend the Urban Heroes Awards at with my friend Khumi Burton. Alas, it was not to be. A traffic accident got in the way. Fortunately, only egos and cars were damaged. But I ran the whole gamut of emotions as the incident unfolded; disappointment, frustration and utter disbelief as the recovery company made it clear that taking us home was not on the agenda.  "You have to speak to your insurers," was the response. What happened to their 5* policy promises?

The driver did eventually agree to take us to the Cottons Hotel. The plan was to ask for the number of a local taxi company from the hotel reception. However, when Eloic Montagnier the manager of Cottons Hotel Knutsford realised our dilemma, he spontaneously offered to arrange a lift. He personally drove us home in his own car; a return journey of some 40 miles. What a kind gesture! Remember we were not guests at the hotel, merely travellers in distress. Eloic takes customer care to a new level. He was paying it forward.

Have I used Cottons Hotel before? Yes. Will I be using the hotel again? You bet! Will I tell my sphere of influence? I am doing so via this broadcast - telling thousands of people across the world. If you are in a position to use this hotel do so. It's great for business meetings, weddings and conferences. Remember to ask for Eloic Montagnier.

I have nominated Eloic for a Wow Award!

Business readers have asked me to highlight their services as a result of the last TCI broadcast. Chris Gibbons of Query Management was the first to contact me. Her business Query Management provides professional credit control and credit management services for small and medium sized businesses. If you need such services, why not check out Chris?

And if you want to post a comment just jump on the forum or email us and we'll sort it for you...And of course if I can help you ...

We have just spent a fabulous weekend at the Goodwood Festival of Speed. Have you ever been to an event that you can look back on and reflect with pure pleasure? Perhaps you'd prefer to go to a music festival such as Glastonbury or attend a world class rugby match or go the world cup; but for this family of petrol heads, Goodwood was our perfect day out. And it is the Siverstone UK F1 weekend... so for us... deep joy!

We attended Goodwood on the corporate day feeling very special and privileged. The moving motor show was a true spectacle. We had been offered this wonderful treat courtesy of the exclusive car manufacturers BMW Alpina. And to make the day even more special, there was a unique track and hill test drive valued at over £1,000 in the brand spanking new B5! How did we come by this amazing experience? Our son Kyle, a besotted B5 owner, contacted Alpina head office in Germany and asked. Wow! And of course there was a fab goody bag and hospitality. Whoohoo! (click the test drive link and share out treat)

You might think Kyle was rather cheeky. However, he was rather bold and prepared to accept rejection. It's amazing what happens when you ask the world to help you - it often hugely surpasses your expectations. What have you asked for recently? What would you really, really like? Well why not trying asking someone to help you get it. I believe you create your own luck in life and you can start today by asking for what you need. Importantly ask yourself, "What can I offer in return to help someone else?"

I asked my speaking colleagues and PSA fellows board members, Alan Stevens  and Will Kintish for help. Both Alan and Will recommended an advanced search on LinkedIn  to help me find business contacts in Australia. Well this is a long story with a short finish - the outcome is this - I currently have at least three more people to meet in Brisbane in September as a result of asking. Hopefully I can develop working relationships with these relative strangers that will allow us to help each other. Do you know anyone in Brisbane, who might like to meet to explore business opportunities? If so, please forward them this email.

These broadcasts often close with, if I can help you in any way, just ask. And Gerry has taken up my offer of assistance. Gerry Lynch is an expert in dealing effectively with staff dismissals. Why not read more and see what Gerry Lynch has has to offer.

Don't miss the next post which will feature Eloic Montagnier the manager of Cottons Hotel Knutsford, who takes customer care to a new dimension...
And if you want to post a comment just jump on the forum or email us and we'll sort it for you...

And of course if I can help you in any way.........

One person’s stress is another person’s challenge. Stress is often viewed as a mental health matter however it is a complex issue and one size does not fit all.

The UK Health & Safety Executive definition of stress points out that while the reaction of the body to stress can lead to mental health symptoms, stress is not a mental health illness.

• Stress is a set of reactions and responses,
• The level of stress varies from one person to another,
• Stress is nonetheless real for the person experiencing it,
• So stress can have a significant adverse reaction to health and wellbeing.

An early warning signal is a change in behaviour; if your colleague becomes unpredictable or indecisive it may be time to take a stress audit.
You can download my simple and straightforward stress audit now:

Stress Audit (53 KB)

You can read facts from a case study here.

Emotions related to stress can be strange, volatile, and unpredictable. They do not always respond to logic and reason. They do, often respond to action. In my experience one of the best way to kill a negative emotion such as stress is to work it to death.

Almost nothing is as bad as it first seems, and there is nothing like a hard day’s work to put everything in proper perspective. If you begin to feel negative emotions, dwelling on your misfortunes only makes you feel worse. Do your best to put them out of your mind and think about more positive, constructive things.

Physical labour can help. Choose a task that doesn’t require a great deal of your concentration - or your mental capacity - and then focus on accomplishing that activity. Physical exercise can help too - a run, a cycle ride or a gym workout are all good forms of displacement therapy.

People who take regular exercise also tend to be happier. Research shows they also have fewer days of sickness and can cope better with stressors. Why? Because the body has it’s own in-built medicine cabinet; it knows what is best. Decades ago, when we were stationed in Hong Kong, I was first exposed to hatha yoga and the benefit of regular exercise coupled with meditation. My wise yoga tutor Maureen Coleman, gave the class three pieces of advice, which have become my personal wellbeing guidelines:

1. You are what you eat,
2. You are only as young as your spine,
3. Listen to your body.

I recommend this very simple yet sage strategy to you. It has certainly worked for me and mostly likely it will work for you. For my part, I am a stress-free zone and feel well qualified to coach and consult in matters stress related.

Contact me today if you think I can help you - taking action now is all part of your stress solution.

You can comment on the forum on The Confidence Report. Thank you.

You can NOW reserve your copy of "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness." at an introductory price of just £12.00 inc P&P (saving you £5.00 approx.) If you require multiple copies - ten or more - please contact the office for special rates. Thank you.

You can even read an excerpt from the book entitled, How To Outshine The Competition," on Be Fabulous thanks to Karen Davis.

PLUS A Free Prize Draw

• Refer three friends using and be automatically entered into a prize draw. If you refer six people you will be entered into the draw twice :)  Forward this email and copy me into the mail so that we can track your referrals. Books will be shipped to you next month and winners will be announced at the same time. Three lucky winners will receive:
• A FREE copy of my new book (signed if you wish)
  
• A FREE place on my teleseminar taster session scheduled for October - after my Australian speaking trip which starts with the fab Viva event in Surfers' Paradise :)
  

I used my experience from working in business and education to write a happiness curriculum for teachers called "Love your Life Survive the System."  I’ve now built on that success in "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness." This new book shows you how to the find passion to drive you forward; how to overcome disillusionment, bolster self-esteem and successfully ride the roller-coaster of life.

Thank you supporting my broadcasts and for your comments on the Confidence Report. If you have an idea to share, please post it on the forum or mail us, we'll happily add it for you.

Now it is time to tell your friends. Thank you very much. And good luck:)

PS Comments are disabled to block spam.  You can add you thoughts on the Confidence Report...

I have a popular talk called, "Success Is Built On Your Daily Routines." This statement really is common sense don't you think? Yet in my experience common sense in not necessarily common practice.
One of the most sensible things I have done in recent years is start a mastermind group. This support group focuses primarily on business matters, however apart from being my business mentors Debbie Catt and Chris Davidson have in fact become close personal friends.
Chris and I were talking about what makes people successful and he referred me to work by Albert EN Gray. I was so impressed by the power and simplicity of his words that I have downloaded it for you. Take a few moments to read the Common Denominator Of Success.
Not surprisingly Albert Gray's article endorses what I say in my talk - success IS built on your daily routines - your regular habits WILL shape the rest of your life.
Common sense = not always common practice.
And you can read more about successful habits in my new book, Confidence The Seven Keys To Your Happiness which is due out July 2010.
Thanks Chris!

Karen Davis of Be Fabulous has kindly published an excerpt from my new book, "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness" due out next month.
You can read the snippet Be The Star You Are!" on her website.

Time to read:  483 words  

Some estimates state that 65% of adults are deathly afraid to get up and speak in front of others. I agree preferring to put it this way, "Many people would rather go to bed with snakes and spiders than stand up and present!" And I wonder is public speaking one of your biggest fears? I am currently coaching two people to increase their speaking confidence - one the father of a bride - the other a senior manager. Here are seven simple pitching points I shared with both clients:

1. Be yourself
2. Have a great opener
3. Practice - know your material inside out
4. Work on your ‘ums... errs’ using breath control and the power of a pause
5. Never apologise or say “I’m sorry I don’t do this very often...” or something similar such as
   “I’m nervous!” “I’m standing in for Jane/John who could not make it today...”
6. Structure your talk or pitch – start with your end in mind
7. Close with a smile, your thanks and a call to action.

There are lots of stories and strategies in my new book - "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness" - including more tips on how to pitch proficiently; and it's due out just in time for your holiday reading. At some point it is pretty certain that you will need to be able to get up and speak in front of others; maybe at a wedding or special occasion. When you think of successful people they are almost without exception excellent presenters e.g. view footage of President Obama. Being successful is going to require the effective communication of your ideas to other people. Obama is an outstanding orator who inspires even the most confident of speakers.

My next newsletter will tell you more about the book how to reserve your copy of "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness" at a preferential introductory rate :) In the meantime, why not complete the illuminating BBC Personality test for a confidence boost?

Here's a second speaking statistic which will make you sit up and think, people who speak and communicate effectively earn 81% more than those who do not.  Read more here if you need some help with your pitches and presentation and learn how I can help you present with more structure and pzazz. This month I am also working with students on Essential Life Skills and courses which focus on presentation and interview skills. If I can help your organisation in a similar way, do let me know.

Thank you supporting my broadcasts and for your comments on the Confidence Report. If you have an idea to share - maybe a story or public speaking tip - please post it on the report or mail us, we'll happily add it for you.
Please tell your friends and family. Thank you. And of course if I can help you in any other way you only need to ask...